LOVE, A FEELING OR A COMMITMENT ?

A young man in his early twenties said to me “I don’t think love is possible these days.” What he meant was he didn’t think marriage and staying married was possible. I told him “yes it is.”

We had an interesting conversation about the subject of love and marriage. His point was that in this day and age people can’t stay married. I told him marriage was more than steaming up the windows in his car; it is a commitment.

This guy seemed to think that in this age we have more reason not to stay together than ever before. I told him I didn’t think people had changed any since Adam and Eve. They are primarily the same as then. We may have more stuff or things to distract us but the reasons for the distraction remained the same. I told him “selfishness is the problem.”

I told him “love’s main characteristic is that it isn’t selfish and it always thinks of the other person first. If both the husband and wife lived by putting their spouses before them it could and would work.”

Being in his early twenties it isn’t difficult to see why he doesn’t fully understand the concept of marriage. I told him as you get older marriage, love and commitment take on a new light. He couldn’t really argue with that.

He said “I just don’t think someone should feel obligated to stay.” I said “isn’t that part of till death do us part, in sickness and health and for richer or poorer?” He laughed and said “yeah I guess that’s right.” By the time this short but important conversation was over I thought ‘you know I just talked to him about God and he didn’t even know it.’

The Bible tells us that “God is love.” Without him I don’t see how any marriage could work. I suppose there may be some that have, but it must be next to impossible. After all, God is the one who came up with the whole marriage idea in the first place. He is the one who set Adam up with Eve. He was the first to say “you must leave your mother and Father and cleave to your wife.”

Marriage is, after all, a picture of the relationship between Christ and his people. He tells us so in the letter to the Ephesians. Christ loved the church so much he gave himself for her. Even today he loves her and gives and gives of himself for her. This is true love, that the man would lay down his life for his wife.

Jesus sure didn’t feel like going to the cross so I know love isn’t a feeling. He said to his Father “not my will but yours be done.” He didn’t want to go at all, but the love he has is true love and it is a commitment. Thank you Jesus for loving us that much and for showing us what it really means to be committed to someone.

Written by Louie

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